Thursday 20 January 2011

I Can Seeeeee Youuuu. But no, seriously, you're right here on my screen.

For many many years we've all been watched. Every single day of our lives.
Some say its part of social control, part of our own security and sometimes just for laughs.
CCTV for example, is widely used these days. And I know sometimes when you spot a camera when you head into a shop or on a train you suddenly remember. And you know behind that lens theres someone in a room watching you. Creepy. But yes, apparently this is for our safety. Well, it is. Helps the police track criminals, gives you a nice mug shot of them, and helps to identify both victims/witnesses and suspects. This is obviously all good, as long as you're not the one who committed said crime.
(Click Here for Police and CCTV information)

Not something I'd want to be caught doing on google earth.

But as long as we know there's someone watching us, we can't be ourselves. Even in the so-called privacy of our homes we aren't getting that much privacy. With invasive reality TV shows like Big Brother, Meet the Parents, etc there's even less privacy. I guess people just like to watch other people squirm.
Then there's Google Earth (or Google maps). Of course, its wonderful looking at the places you'd love to go on a map of the world, sightseeing from your own room. Cool. But not so cool if you happened to be down that street when the photo was taken, especially if you're doing something you shouldn't have.
Also you can actually vaguely see through the windows of houses. Creepy. Makes you want to close your curtains forever.

Actually the thing I don't get is why anyone would want to put themselves through the fear of being watched and not having the basic right to privacy by going in the Big Brother house. Thankfully its done and dusted now, but really?  Who'd want to be watched every second of their day.

Big Brother 5 Logo
- I never knew they were all different..
 And the people who watch are just as bad. Why watch a person sleeping? It's like being a crazy stalker from a distance.

Privacy is something I wish we could all have, but unfortunately the world doesn't work that way. Cameras are there to do all these supposedly good things but they just make you squirm over all.

Something that may be interesting perhaps would be to ask this: What would it be like to have a world with real privacy. Not being watched all day, and knowing you weren't.
Maybe it'd be like the past? Or maybe a thing of the future? (Although I very much doubt that..)

Tuesday 11 January 2011

Being Examined Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

And as if the first week properly back from uni isn't enough to make you squirm in your seat, there's always the added dilemma of exams to revise for and presentations to prepare.

This is what this week is all about, and it's only Tuesday.

Yesterday the first essay of this side of the year was due in. This essay was the complete and utter death of me. How do you write 3000 words on how the police have become politicised specifically by the modern dilemmas of public order policing?  Such a stupid question. But I'd picked it, and there was no turning back.

Today was exam number one of 2011. Train Wreck are the most favourable two words I can think of.
That and Apocalypse-esque Catastrophe. It may be dramatic, but I don't feel especially confident.
Then again I've found that whenever you do feel confident you usually haven't done as well as you hope you have.

So the week or terror is upon me.

I am being a little over dramatic, I'll admit.
But what's the fun in being boring.. How would 'the week of a couple of  presentations, an exam, and an essay and then its over' grab you? It wouldn't. Plus that doesn't sound too bad either. But it really really is.

I can never understand the people who don't get nervous about exams, essays or presentations. They 've got to be either ridiculously confident about their abilities or completely unable to feel anything remotely like worry.
My friend was one of these. He said that he never got nervous because he didn't care. I bet he did care though. When he got good marks he sure cared..
Yes.. anyway, yeah, I don't get it. Surely everyone gets a bit funny about these things. Maybe only a little bit, or maybe so much its a phobia. But I'm sure we do.

Personally, the most nervous I get is in presentations. On the outside I try to look as comfortable and confident as I possibly can but on the inside my insides have turned to jelly, my brain to mush and my heart is hammering like a ... a really fast drum. That will do.  I do manage it though. Far better than I used to. (Although I owe that at least in part to the hypnotherapy I've been getting, it seems to have worked for me).

You know some people are really stressed most of the time? I don't think I could do that. I'm stressed now and it's making me ill. Seriously. I couldn't eat much today. Which is exceptionally weird because i utterly love my food. Whatever form its in. Love it. But today I tried to eat a butterscotch pudding and just felt sick. Horrible.

On the up side, after this week its seminars and lectures as usual and the possibility of Mondays and Fridays off. :D
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